Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The Law of Averages

Murphy rules. Not because I agree, but just because he said so!

This is especially true in large families. It doesn’t seem to matter the circumstance, if we want something to go one way, it will go the other. For example:

  • No matter how many times you tell your kids to clean up after themselves, the law of averages (one of Murphy’s many aliases) says that if you are not there to supervise, it won’t get done.

  • Walking into the living room moments after you’ve left it spotless, you will find at least one dirty sock newly stuffed into or under the sofa. This average increases in cooler climates and with the number of children per household. Likewise, you will find it after you have finished doing the laundry.

  • If you plan a special family dinner, one or more teenager will have previously unreported plans for that evening – which they will need transportation to/from.

  • When you are most looking forward to a quiet morning at home, a child with a fever/bellyache/rash/vomiting will crawl into your bed earlier than your usual waking time.

  • Once that child is finally well, another will succumb.

  • The number of unauthorized, injury-free leaps made from the deck is always one fewer than the number of offspring who attempt it.

  • The year your loving spouse voluntarily sets up the pool early (with no nagging from you), it will snow Memorial Day weekend. And rain the rest of the summer.

  • The more you look forward to your head hitting the pillow any given night, the more frequently your sleep will be interrupted by Critters of both the two and four-legged varieties. And if especially sleep-deprived, woodpeckers will find your house to be an irresistible soundbox at the crack of dawn.

  • Critters who can't remember simple instructions for: running the dishwasher/washing machine/dryer/lawn mower, sewing on a button, folding clothes, making Ramen, etc. can nonetheless operate and navigate any and all technology AND tell you exactly how the world should be run. Which is, of course --- without your interference.

  • The number of events crammed into your hectic schedule is proportionately equal to the resistance you'll face in getting everyone out the door on time.

 Spring was wild, and this pretty much sums it up, except...

....even though the last post featured her, I really should elaborate on the last couple of weeks from Sweetie Petite-y's perspective since she and Murphy have bumped heads on more than one occassion. She survived missing her class trip thanks to a wonderful day spent being spoiled by her Godmother. But she almost missed being class speaker at her graduation thanks to bouts of laryngitis and a virus that might have been food poisoning --- till it later made the rounds of Hubby and remaining Critters in milder form. They avoided the projectile vomiting, but then, they had less riding on being healthy. But everything turned out well in the end.

Murphy might rule, but a mother's prayers produce miracles.

And pretty little graduation dresses as well.


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