The Audition

*to be sung to the tune of "I Don't Know How to Love Him"




I don't know how to do this.
I don't know what I'm doing
On this stage, here on this stage
It's been thirty years, well - give or take,
Since I got up the nerve.

I don't know how to sing this.
What if I mess up the lyrics?
It's just a song, a pretty song,
And I've sung so many songs before
But always ones I knew.

Okay, here goes.

Oops, I started high-
Did I stop too soon?
Is my voice too soft?
Should I belt or croon?
I never knew I'd shake like this
Feeling like I'll swoon.

Don't you think it's rather awkward
All these other people waiting
For their turn to come on stage
And try their best, but do their worst
But I did my worst first
It scared me so.

I really thought I'd pee my pants
Right up on that stage!

But if they say they want me,
I'll be back here in a heartbeat
It's been so long, yes, much too long.
And I want the part... heck! Any part-
Please, I don't want to go.
I've missed it so.
I want it so.
I love it so.